skzbrust (skzbrust) wrote,

Bagelfail

The other day, desiring a sort of snack to calm the rumblings of hunger, I bethought myself to consider the possibility of a bagel.  As two of the three people living here eat bagels (the third preferring some sort of abomination that goes under a similar name but contains raisins), it seemed likely we had some.  In fact, a quick examination of the table showed that we did, and one of them was quickly sliced in half and inserted into the toaster.

As our toaster is rather slow, I now had time on my hands during which to consider what to have on the bagel.  Many things are good on bagels, but the first thing that always comes to mind is: cream cheese.  I opened the refrigerator looking for that familiar silvery foil container, and I was delighted to find it at once.  I removed it, and saw, to my dismay, that, while it did have the familiar silvery foil, it did not say “Philadelphia” on it.  I considered that Reesa, whom I have always felt that I could trust in all matters, apparently did not deserve this trust when it came to picking out cream cheese.  Though sad about this, I consoled myself with the thought that some other brand, though not the same, was liable to be palatable.  I should add that I could not actually see the brand, as half of the contents had been used, but I could clearly see the absence of the familiar black oval and calligraphy that I had expected.

The bagels being now toasted, I wasted no time in spreading the spreadable unto the receiving object, and, this done, at once bit into it.

Let me digress for a moment.

I use a lot of different oils and fats when I cook; butter, vegetable oil, lard, bacon fat, and others.  When in doubt, olive oil is my default for Western cooking; seasame oil for that which is more Eastern.  I have a good supply of oils and fats used for cooking, so that, when in need, I can go at once to the one I wish.  Each of these oils and fats comes in a container with which I am familiar.

I did not know that there is a sort of lard-like vegetable oil that comes in a container that is indistinguishable from that usually associated with cream cheese.

I relate this story as a warning to others.

Originally published at Words Words Words. Please leave any comments there.

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