skzbrust ([info]skzbrust) wrote,
@ 2007-04-29 15:32:00
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Fossil-maker's Blues
Inspired by a comment by [info]hatfield13 (who is, no doubt, even now writing the tune.  I'm sure of it).

Demons and imps are all around
Screaming and chipping are the only sounds
I sweat so much it gives me fits
Just to fool those stupid biologists

        Chorus
    It's calcium and marrow and mix 'em fine
    I'm on the job from nine to nine
    Oh lord won't someone set me free
    From the Devil's Fossil Factory.

Add a little carbon and start the decay
Inject some mitochondrial DNA.
Gotta carve them bones so they look right
Then plant 'em in the strata in the dark of night.

        Chorus

Work all week for ninteen cents
Building evolutionary evidence.
You got no chance to organize
When the Chairman of the Board is the Prince of Lies

       Chorus

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[info]anjylle
2007-04-29 10:53 pm UTC (link)
Bwaha ^_^ Very good, sir!

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[info]sleightgirl
2007-04-29 11:17 pm UTC (link)
So that's how those fossils got there...So much for Darwin and his fiction.

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[info]tabslock
2007-04-30 12:08 am UTC (link)
Oh good. Another great conversation starter for those awkward dinners with the family zealots.

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[info]fredcritter
2007-04-30 12:35 am UTC (link)
OOK OOK slobber drool!

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[info]fredcritter
2007-04-30 01:30 am UTC (link)

Oh, and by the way, have you considered this, um, icon option?

A Rose . . .

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[info]skzbrust
2007-04-30 01:34 am UTC (link)
Oh, hey, not a bad thought!

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[info]yndy
2007-04-30 05:03 am UTC (link)
Absolutely Brilliant! :)

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[info]dogofthefuture
2007-04-30 09:25 am UTC (link)
Ahem....


Well now the Devil went down to Georgia he was lookin' for a soul
He came across some mud and found some shells among the shoals.

The Devil he thought to himself "now I've got quite a thought.
Why not try for lots of souls, not one, but quite a lot?"

The Lord of Lies
Souls are his prize
He planted evidence;

To turn men's minds
And make them blind
To God's sweet providence.

The devil laid some fossils down, and changed a thing or two,
To make it look like millions o' years to Carbon-22.

And he stuck a monkey skeleton in those old rocks, he did
He knew some day a scientist would call it a hominid!

Oh Beelzebub
His Rotary Club
Wants you to join with Darwin;

Say "speciesization
happens without God's provocation"
and get kicked out of Heaven.

Now the Devil's job it is complete, he's found a new vocation
Why turn one man at a time when you've got some evolution

The devil he is clever, oh Lucifer's quite smart,
But just believe in what God says and you'll be precious of His heart!


Composed upon the spot, 2:-something-ish AM, Los Angeles California, by Yours Truly

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[info]dogofthefuture
2007-04-30 09:28 am UTC (link)
There are, upon review, some meter problems. But these can be fixed, I think.

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[info]pameladean
2007-04-30 05:05 pm UTC (link)
*splort*

You know, that would have made Mike laugh. It really would.

P.

(made me laugh too, but, well, you know)

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[info]skzbrust
2007-04-30 08:10 pm UTC (link)
*sigh* Thank you. *hug*

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[info]elisem
2007-05-01 01:14 pm UTC (link)
*extremely large hug*

Nice!

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[info]scarypudding
2007-04-30 05:08 pm UTC (link)
Someone must know someone who knows someone who can get Tom Waits to record this.

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[info]thnidu
2007-04-30 05:25 pm UTC (link)
tune! Need tune! Give it to us as soon as you can! Pleeeeeze!!!

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[info]owlmirror36
2007-04-30 06:09 pm UTC (link)
Dunno if it's what SKZB intended, but I kinda thought that his lyrics are a riff on Sixteen Tons. There's a midi, for the tune, and the discussion threads may have some chords.

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[info]thnidu
2007-04-30 06:42 pm UTC (link)
Mmm, could be. Don't need the midi, I've known the song for years. The meter is close enough, and the chorus is similar in flavor, but it doesn't strike me as a natural fit. Thanks anyway, though.

The Filker With No Nickname

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[info]owlmirror36
2007-04-30 07:00 pm UTC (link)
but it doesn't strike me as a natural fit.

It may not be a natural selection, but perhaps you could intelligently design a modification?

Heh.

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[info]thnidu
2007-04-30 08:56 pm UTC (link)
(see icon)

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[info]skzbrust
2007-04-30 08:11 pm UTC (link)
It can be made to work to Stan Rogers' White Collar Hollar, but I'd rather it have it's own tune.

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[info]timeisahelix
2007-04-30 05:48 pm UTC (link)
*snort* Me like.

The Devil's Sweatshop Theory still doesn't explain why so much design is so damned unintelligent, though. Or why the same structures keep appearing over and over and over and we have so many vestigial remnants. Is God just a really uncreative, bumbling dunderhead? I could design a better spieces than us.

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[info]plmvent
2007-04-30 06:52 pm UTC (link)
Maybe that was the intent...

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[info]skzbrust
2007-04-30 08:14 pm UTC (link)
I'm reminded of the old joke with the punchline: "Who but a Civil Engineer would put a toxic waste dump in the middle of a playground?"

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[info]thnidu
2007-04-30 08:57 pm UTC (link)
I recall -- don't remember where, I think it was a .sig -- the line

We like civil engineers.

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