Jesus and the Gays
My friend Don has a brother named Jim.  Jim has been a Republican for 40 years, but in the last election voted Democratic because, well, I guess he had to.  Now, Jim has a friend of long-standing who is a Jesus-loving Bush-supporting liberal-hating Gay-bashing Republican of THAT school, and has been giving Jim shit for the last couple of years, calling him a liberal, a Gay-lover, and so on.  You know the drill.

So, according to Don, Jim ran into this friend recently and said, "Hey, I've figured it out.  I now understand why you hate Gays so much.  I found a passage in the New Testament where Jesus rails against them."  "You did?" said his friend, who I guess had only found support in the Old Testament.  "Yep.  John 3:15"  "You mean, 16?"  "Nope, 15.  John 3:15.  It reads like this: ' That whosoever believeth in him may not perish, but may have life everlasting, except for you two cocksuckers in back, because ain't no fucking fags gettin' into heaven!'"